I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm passing your future prison.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
