So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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