I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
