It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
