I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
