Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize