For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
