I think I died a long time ago.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
