I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
