Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it because I queefed?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
