This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
