I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize