This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
