There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
