i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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