if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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