I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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