dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
