Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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