over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
