How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize