Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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