I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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