sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I party with great urgency now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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