we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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