just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You took a bar mat shot.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
