i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
