i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I touched a dick in church today
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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