Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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