why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize