Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
