you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
