you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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