So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
