Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
