i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize