8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Boobs speak an international language.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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