Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
