So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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