Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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