I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
