I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
