I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
