There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
