you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
