we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
