remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
