ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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