So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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