I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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