Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
