it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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