This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
