She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
