I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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