Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize